Ahead of the publication of The Steps, his memoir about childhood, family and career, Sylvester Stallone spoke with The New York Times about the personal costs of ambition. The 80-year-old actor said he only understood unconditional love at around 70. He described his later years as borrowed time and said he is trying to make amends for past mistakes.
Stallone said that when he was younger he was consumed by the drive to succeed and prove he would not become another failure from his neighbourhood. After Rocky made him famous, he recalled, success made him arrogant and difficult. He later regretted pushing away journalists and people who had believed in him.
He connected his difficulty with closeness to his childhood. Stallone said his mother rarely showed physical affection, while his relationship with his father involved aggression and rivalry. He said he eventually forgave his parents, though he viewed that peace as fragile. He now tries to direct his attention toward people who need him and help them build lives of their own.
The actor also described anxiety attacks that began when he was 36. During the first, while watching film footage in a dark screening room, he suddenly felt hot and thought he was dying. Later episodes occurred before television appearances and in crowded spaces. He never sought psychotherapy, saying he believes childhood experiences cannot be fully erased; breathing exercises and meditation, he suggested, can offer temporary cover rather than a permanent cure.
The Steps is due out on September 29. Stallone writes about the years before Rocky, repeated Hollywood rejections and the script that launched his career. The 1976 film gave him both its lead role and a screenplay credit. He became the third person to receive simultaneous Academy Award nominations for acting and writing; Rocky won three Oscars, including Best Picture.
Stallone later played John Rambo in five films, created The Expendables franchise and returned as Rocky Balboa in the Creed films. His role in the first Creed earned him a third Oscar nomination in 2016. He currently stars in the series Tulsa King. Born in New York on July 6, 1946, Stallone has five children. His eldest son, Sage, died in 2012 at 36. Stallone has been married to Jennifer Flavin since 1997; they have three daughters: Sophia, Sistine and Scarlet.